To all the girls/women out there who struggle with being "super-single", this letter is for you.
You consider yourself to be "super-single". Meaning the following has never happened to you:
- had a boyfriend... like ever
- been on a date before or asked to any school dances or proms
- been kissed (obviously)
- known what it's like to find out that the guy you have a crush on feels the same way (in real-life, mind you)
You've heard the phrases, "Oh, you'll find someone.", "You just have to get out there.", "He'll be here before you know it.", etc. more times than you can count. And if you had a dollar for every time someone has said those phrases and others like it, you'd probably have good start for a savings account. (Perhaps you're cringing at the sight of those words strung together.)
You pray and wait, you wonder what's wrong with you. You hope, half-playfully, that he didn't get hit by a bus or something else tragic. You've asked yourself, "Where are all the other 'super-singles' like me??"
Me too.
I want to let you know that you are not alone. You are not a freak. You're not invisible. God hasn't forgotten about you. I promise.
My words of encouragement aren't the true (albeit, overused) phrases uttered by well-meaning peers and family. I don't have a magic phrase or body spray to use to change the outcome of things. I won't tell you that this journey will be easy or that you'll never have times you wish you were in a relationship. (I'm getting to the good part, I promise.)
My advice is one that even I have to go back remind myself sometimes. Give your worries, fears, stresses and frustrations to God. Doing this isn't like a vending machine where you put something in, tap a few buttons, and out comes what you want. God doesn't work that way. Giving your concerns to God ensures that you don't have to hold on to them yourself anymore. It takes the stress and baggage off of you and starts the process in trusting that God knows what He's doing. It strengthens your relationship with Him.
Continue to go on with your life and take advantage of the things you can learn and do while being single. (There are some, I promise.) Don't give up or lose hope. Stop comparing your chapter to what you see others proclaim on Facebook. Just scroll on. And when you're feeling exceptionally lonely, find or go to some trusted social support. Don't let the stress fester inside of you. If it takes a workout session or curling up in your sweats with your blanket, book (or Netflix) and your favorite stuffed animal... do it. And remind yourself that you are exactly where you need to be.
All my love,
Barb
I really like this, and I am also "super-single". I was wondering if you have read stuff by Mandy Hale? With a focus on God, she encourages and empowers women. Her nickname is "the single woman" and she has a blog, twitter, and a couple books. I follow her on twitter and she tweets a lot of really good quotations that I often retweet. I'm also reading her first book, although the chapters are a bit short. Her website is thesinglewomen.net
ReplyDeleteHi Beth! Yep! :) I follow her social media and her first book is on my "To Read" list. Her posts are part of what inspired me to write this post.
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