13 August 2015

Single Women, Married Men, and Modesty

Image credit: farconville via freedigitalphotos.net


I once came across a quote that read: 
"Dress how you want other women to dress around your husband. - Kim Doebler"

Say huh??? This quote really irked me.

I understand that it's not necessary for women to dress overly seductively all of the time. Yes, some outfits can be waaay too tight, too low-cut, and/or too revealing. I am an advocate of women, Christian or not, wearing what makes them comfortable, what they like, and is situation appropriate. Example: It's 95º and humid outside. I'm not wearing long pants, close toed shoes and a high-neck top with sleeves that stop at my elbows simply because I may run into someone's husband that has no control (or that I need wear it simply to control my supposed "seductress-marriage-wrecking powers")!

This quote makes it sound like a woman's husband cannot be trusted; so, it's up to all the other single women out there to jump in and help solve their problem. If a woman's husband cannot control himself, that's between the man and the woman in that relationship. If she doesn't trust her husband for whatever reason, that's their issue to deal with, and no one elses. No woman should have to plan her outfits for the purpose of hiding herself for some other woman's husband or boyfriend.

Upon reading this I felt that there's an assumption that all women are dressing up for men all of the time. (Ignoring those women who do so.) Women typically dress for themselves and for the situation. I also add 'for God' to that. I respect myself and I love the body that God gave me. I (and hopefully other single women) have enough common sense to know that purposefully dressing in clothes to make others stumble is just mean and doesn't get you the attention that you want.

I also felt like this quote is a very subtle way of linking single women with the cause of infidelity. It takes two.


I would hope that if/when I get married, I still have the common sense to know that I cannot control how other women dress and their reasons for why. I hope that I still know that I shouldn't care about the actions of other women because the marriage that I'm in is between me, him, and God. I hope and pray that he's the kind of man who has eyes for me and me alone, that he deeply cares about our marriage, and if he's ever feeling tempted, he would remove himself from that situation, not play the blame-game on the other woman, then come talk and pray with me.

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