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27 March 2016

To Give Up or Not to Give Up?

I like to believe that I am a woman of eclectic hobbies and interests. Some of these include playing various musical instruments, learning different languages, teaching myself the basics of knitting, listening to Fall Out Boy, martial arts, running, keeping up with super-nerdy shows, etc. Whenever someone learns of one of my hobbies or interests, a popular response is, "I tried that once, but I gave up."

I gave up.

Those three little words speak volumes. When asked why, answers vary from boredom to "not being *adjective here* enough." To me, giving up on something (or someone) is like giving up on a book smack dab in the middle and calling it the end. In some ways, giving up can be good. For example, giving up a bad habit or giving up control of something that's out of your hands.

It's no secret that the past few years haven't gone so well for me. Confession: For the past year, year and a half, I've been close to telling myself and God, "I give up. Finding a full-time job, I give up. Trying to finish school, I give up. Having hope that my future husband is out there, I give up. Having hope that I won't end up living under a bridge because college loans, I give up." Upon being told not to give up I think, "Why not?? I'm feeling beaten, exhausted and defeated. This has been going on for far too long and I feel as if I haven't moved forward. If I give up now, I can say that I tried and I'm saving myself from being hurt again." Despite this, I haven't given up yet. Why?

Because no matter how frustrated or disheartened I become, I'm still really curious about the future. Because my family won't let me. (I think they'll be ready to drag me across the finish line if necessary.) Because no matter what I do, I still have Christ in me. And to have Christ is to have hope.

Each of us has a little voice inside that says not to give up when life starts handing out jabs, hooks and uppercuts like lemonade on a summer day. For some that voice is being drowned out or silenced by ourselves or others. But if you're like me and you're going through something rough and you've never been told this, or told many times already:

"I know it's hard but you can't give up. Something better has to come. Do it because you're curious of the outcome. Do it because I believe you can. Do it because God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth, believes that you can. Don't give up."

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