Understanding Introverts: Part 2

Hello again! Here's part two of my little series about introverts. Enjoy!

People who are introverted have little to no problems with keeping to themselves. It gives us time to process and go over information without interruption. That doesn't mean introverts don't like being around people. There are many introverts who like to be around people but in different amounts. For example, I enjoy being around people and friends but, I'm okay with spending time by myself. We have friends and we enjoy going to gatherings and parties in certain quantities.

When it comes to group discussions, this could vary from person to person. An introvert is usually not going to be the first person to jump to an answer or comment unless they've had time to consider what to say and how to say it. When a question is asked, we need a little bit of time to gather our thoughts. Why? It's not because we're stupid or we don't understand the question or idea. It's because we have our own unrelated thoughts and ideas floating around in our heads. Introducing a new thought or idea that requires an immediate response will take some time for sorting. What makes it harder to communicate to the rest of the group is when there are a number of people in the group who blurt out the answer as soon as it's mentioned. That's when a thought process related to the subject can be interrupted to listen to the other person. (Introverts are good at listening and paying attention to details, too!) A lot of times whatever we were going to say gets said by someone else already. And we all know that can be a little annoying and counter-productive. :)

NOTE: When I refer to children, I'm referring to kids who are introverts because of their personality and how God made them to be. I'm not an expert, a psychologist, a teacher or anything. I speak from my own childhood experiences. If you have kids or are working with kids, don't force a child to talk if they honestly don't want to. Whenever I was in a group and forced to say something when I had nothing to say or didn't want to say anything, I felt as if everyone thought that it was wrong to be a quiet person--like I needed to be "fixed" and turned into a talker like the other kids. Those were the times I just wanted to listen and observe. If it's free time and they can do whatever, forcing them to be around people for a majority of the time only makes things stressful. Especially at an overnight camp setting. They're already surrounded by a lot of people. A lot of times, an introverted child will find a friend or a small group of people and will be fine. (I usually did this.) Please don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for being around people and interacting. Sometimes you will need to enforce that. You can encourage them to speak or to interact more but don't shove it down their throats. Sometimes they will talk or interact on their own, you just have to be a little more patient with them. Sitting and talking with them when they're by themselves may help but, be prepared if it doesn't. When I was a kid, I found that having someone sit next to me when I wanted to be alone for a little bit, talking my ear off, and trying to make me talk was a little annoying. If you see some introversion in a/your child, embrace it because that's how God may want them to be for the time. If you've known the child long enough, you'll be able to gauge what works, what doesn't, and what to do in different situations as far as interacting.

So now you know and (hopefully) understand a little more about introverts and how we operate. Please don't think that introverts don't like friends or don't like being approached!! We do! That's how God created us all. He's created us to be around people and to have relationships with each other. That's a good and beautiful thing. One person can become more energized by being around people for a majority of their time, while another will become drained by that. There's nothing wrong with either person. I hope you enjoyed this little 2-part series. :D If you have any questions or comments related to this, comment below. I love you all!

Understanding Introverts: Part 1

Hello lovely peoples! This post is all about understanding introverts. I think it's pretty cool how God created us so differently! Not just physically but mentally.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

John 13:34

We introverts are not weird and there's nothing wrong with us. I would also like to add that introverts do exist in the African-American community. (I'm living proof!) We're not intentionally mean, intentionally rude, self-centered, vain, depressed, antisocial, mentally unstable or plain 'ole people-haters. Just individuals who handle social situations/stimuli in smaller amounts, who need more time or a quieter environment to process information and need to have some alone time every now and then. So I would like to take some time to help understand about introverts/the quiet people.

Introvert/Quiet≠shy. Someone can overcome shyness. Introversion is how the brain is wired and usually cannot be helped. Same thing for extroversion. It's known (here) that introverts have more brain activity in the frontal part of the thalamus and the frontal lobe (the areas of the brain that control problem solving, control making plans and remembering things) while extroverts have more brain activity in different parts of the brain. So when the extroverts are wondering why in the world do we want to be alone and we're wondering why in the world do you want to be around people all the time, there's your answer.

Being shy is different from being an introvert or just quiet. Being shy refers to one being timid around people or afraid to talk. Someone who is introverted is not necessarily afraid to talk. Perhaps they do better with observing or working behind the scenes. Maybe they don't have anything to contribute to the topic (especially if someone has mentioned it already.) Perhaps they don't know anything or much about the topic. And sometimes, the person may not particularly like the topic and aren't going to say anything for whatever reason. There can be a ton more reasons and those are just a few.

Introverts/quiet people do have the ability to talk. For those of you who are extroverts, outgoing and like to talk, please don't make a joke or comment to an introvert that says something like, "Gosh, you're talking my ear off!" "Stop talking already!" "You have a lot to say. Haha" It's not funny in fact it makes you seem kinda mean and taunting, especially if you all don't know each other very well. After saying something like that, the person may not want to consider talking to you. They're (the person who's an introvert) well aware they haven't said anything or said much. (Or maybe you did but you missed it.) Like I mentioned before, there could be various reasons as to why. And might I add, don't even think about saying something like that loud enough for a group of people to hear unless you're aiming to embarrass them. (Which I advise against nonetheless.) That's just calling too much attention to them and again, kinda mean.

Whew! I don't know about you but, I felt like that was a lot of information! So if you're an introvert, embrace who God made you to be because you never know how He may use you. If you're an extrovert, don't forget to show someone who is an introvert/quiet some luv, especially if they are a family member or a friend. We have friends and enjoy friendship. The two personality types can be good friends. Just make sure there's patience, love and appreciation of the other person even if you don't fully understand why. Love you all and come back for part 2!