Loc'd Up Thursdays: "Can I Touch Your Hair?"

You're going about your day, locs (or natural hair) looking good and fresh, when someone you don't know or barely know comes up to you with bright, wide eyes and asks:

"Can I touch your hair?"

How would you answer? Honestly. Would you say yes, no or walk away without responding?

Me? My first instinct would be to say no simply because you're a foreigner in my introvert bubble. But there are times when I might make an exception. For example, if it's a family member or friend, if it's a small child that has asked nicely or someone who has asked me about my hair and shows a genuine interest in learning about something that's different.

Some people perceive another person touching their hair as a negative thing. The idea of another stranger entering their personal space simply to touch hair that looks different makes them uncomfortable. It makes them feel like an animal in a petting zoo. And the feeling is very valid.

I can also see things through a different lens, too. I understand that some people are truly curious. They just want to know more about our hair and some people are in awe. Black people, women in particular, are rising up and learning to accept their God given skin color and hair type as something that's unique and beautiful. Our hair texture doesn't look, feel, or behave like what is so commonly shown in the media. I believe that if Black natural hair on women and men were shown in the media just as often as Non-Black hair then there would be little need for this topic.

So if my saying yes to a curious person helps them appreciate differences, then I will say yes. That doesn't mean that my answer to anyone will always be yes. I could be having a bad hair day and my answer to anyone including family and close friends will be no. It just means that I am a little more open towards helping others appreciate differences.

DISCLAIMER: This does NOT mean that Barb is giving you permission to go up to a random black woman's hair and just touch it. Children included. Not only is it beyond rude but you run the chance of getting chewed out or slapped back into last week. Can't say I didn't warn you. The best course of action is to ask. If they say no, accept their answer, respect their wishes, and move on. If they say yes, don't run your hands through their hair like you're their lover. Touch the ends of the hair gently. If you're sick, just touched something sticky or didn't wash your hands after using the bathroom, please don't bother asking at all.