I guess I should explain why I've been behind in my blog updates for the past couple weeks. Earlier this month, I was invited by my sister to attend an Intervarsity retreat for the Southeast Region. It was held at a camp in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. No wifi. No cell service.
"What if I go there and I don't hear anything from God?"
"What if I go and, again, I don't really make any new friends?"
"What if I go and it's just one bad thing after the next?"
Those worries alone almost convinced me not to go. It's not like I didn't want to go because I did. But I needed to know that the chances of me having a bad time was going to be nil.
I shared my worries with my mom and sister. Both of them encouraged me to pray about it before making a decision. So I did. My mom and sister's enthusiasm towards the opportunity and a gently nudge from God convinced me to go.
At this retreat, everyone has to sign up for one of four tracks. Three of the tracks cover different topics and what the Bible has to say about them. At the end of the week, groups within the tracks do a presentation about what they learned. To be honest, the group project side didn't seem too thrilling.
The fourth option, the one that I choose, was volunteering to be on the work crew. Work hard to help things run smoothly, rest hard afterwards. Can't be too hard right? And I get to add some more volunteer work to my resume.
My job was to help set up the dining hall for meals, make sure tables had enough food and beverages during meal times, then help break everything down. After we were finished, we had the option of chilling out around the camp grounds or sitting in on one of the track seminars.
Oh, you know that picture of what we think a camp dining hall usually looks like? Wood walls, wood flooring, long folding tables or wooden picnic benches? Yeah, the camp's dining hall looks nothing like that. Try restaurant style with carpeting and a coffee bar on each end of the hall. Not your old school camp.
Work crew was definitely hard work. (It gave me a better appreciation for the stuff that restaurants servers go through.) Even though the work was tiring and WAY past my comfort zone, people were not short on showing their gratitude.
On top of that I got a chance to people watch. People from different cultures, different schools, different lives coming together with a desire to know more about Jesus being common ground.
People would stop to talk, catch up, laugh and pray together. Just like Urbana, I got a chance to see a teeny bit of what God's kingdom will look like.
In the middle of the week, there was a Retreat of Silence. For 3-4 hours after breakfast, everyone was to go spend some time alone. No talking, no music, no distractions, no going back to sleep. The time was meant to be devoted to spending time in God's word, praying and meeting with God.
Paradise for introverts, obviously. Normally, I would've been ecstatic to participate in something like that but, this time I had mixed feelings. Yes, it would be great to just enjoy the quiet. But the worries that almost prevented me from going popped up again.
As the time approached, my nerves subsided some but not completely. I decided that if anything I can just use the time to recharge from the sun in a quiet environment. When time for Retreat of Silence came, I heard from God. Two little words and nothing else.
"Trust me."
'That's it, God? You don't have anything else to say to me?'
"Just trust me."
Something about those words reminded me of Matthew 6:25-34. "Do not worry". Was I hoping to hear more from God about life in general? Yeah. But, I got the message that I needed instead.
Through the rest of the retreat, I kept God's message for me in my mind but, I couldn't help but wish that God would show to me again and say something else. Something that brought a bit more comfort and didn't create more questions.
I left the retreat on the last day still feeling a tad disappointed that I didn't hear anything much more grand from God but, still grateful and happy that I had the opportunity to go in the first place. And wanting a long nap.
Sometimes, in order to hear from God we do have to unplug and retreat to somewhere quiet. It doesn't have to be in the mountains of North Carolina but, it helps if it's somewhere a little different. Sometimes you'll hear a lot from God, sometimes you'll only get a couple words and other times, you may not hear much of anything at all. Does that make God less real? No. Whether it's in words or in silence, God wants to teach us something. We just have to be patient and open to what it is.
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