Black Lives Matter: My thoughts on recent incidents

As I'm typing this, it's after 2 am and I made the mistake of logging onto Facebook about 45 minutes prior. Once again, more black people have been killed by police officers. Many of my Facebook friends, the ones that actually say something and the ones I still follow, have posted something regarding Alton Sterling and/or Philando Castile. 

Me? I feel like I should say something. I want to say something that makes people want to join together and fight. I struggle to find the words that might stir a desire for justice in some of my white friends who remain silent and/or blind. I want to say something that makes someone say, "I finally understand what black people are trying to communicate to the rest of society." But I realize that I can't make someone change if they don't want to. I can't force someone to see a need for social change if they refuse to acknowledge there's an issue in the first place. 

So how did I react when I heard about these incidents that are becoming all to common? I can't help but want to throw my hands in the air and walk away in frustration. Not saying anything because I'm so overwhelmed by wanting to say everything.

I don't want to watch any more videos of black men, black women and black children being shot, beaten, and slung around like rag dolls by individual incompetent cops. I don't want to read the gory details on the incident. And I certainly don't want to see the face of the murderer/attacker. Some days, I don't want to hear anything about it at all. Just give me a few cute animal videos, a few book nerd posts and let me be on my way.

My desire to stop watching my people being abused, beaten, mistreated and killed is simply this: To maintain my mental health and keep me from worrying myself sick over it. This does NOT mean that the articles, the videos, the posts and the hashtags have no meaning or power. They help tell a story; and the ability to tell a story (whether good or bad) is an incredible gift that we have.

Despite my efforts to quiet my mind so I can sleep, I'm left with these questions swimming around in my head. 

How many more black people need to die at the hands of a cop in order for everyone to realize that there's a problem? What has to be said and by whom in order for the Church to realize that black brothers and sisters are hurting and in need of support? How many more times is the life of a human being going to be turned into a hashtag instead of being lived out to the fullest? How many more times will activists have to explain that "Black Lives Matter [as well]" does NOT threaten white lives? How many more times will history need to repeat itself before we realize that a change needs to be made? How much harder will the good cops have to work just to help reestablish trust and respect among black people? When does it end for good?