Being Single and Desiring Romantic Relationships

Lately I've been thinking about my life, romantic relationships, marriage and relationships in books, movies and television. You know, like many single people do. 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net

One of the things that I've been thinking is how much I would love to see a movie, preferably a rom-com, where Zac Efron plays a character whose love interest just happens to be a black woman. And not letting their different skin color be the main plot of the story. I think it would adorable and a great way to show that black women date men of different races, cultures and ethnicities as well. I could dedicate an entire post to that but I just wanted to mention that.

•     •     •

Being a super-single woman and all, I still desire companionship and I still want to get married one day. Now for whatever reason, when I happen to mention this, there's always that one person who either:
A: Insists that I would be better off staying single.
B: Proceeds to lecture me about how relationships and marriage is difficult, that I need to be up to the challenge or that marriage and relationships are for everyone.
C: Quickly responds with saying, "Don't be in a rush. Focus on you."
D: Says that it's better to be single and happy than be in a relationship and miserable.

Or

E: Laughs in response.

Okay the last one happened more so in elementary and middle school... (Kids can be mean.)

My responses are: 

A - *side eye* "How do you know? We're two different people."

B - "I'm not clueless and I never said anything about relationships or marriage being easy. Just remember that being single isn't a walk in the park either." 

C - "I am focusing on me. And who said anything about being in a rush 'cause I didn't." 

D - "And what about being in a relationship and being happy? Or do you think that's unheard of?"

For me those remarks that people make can make me feel like it's wrong for me to want to be in a romantic relationship and to get married one day. So, then I don't feel like sharing anything about myself to anyone. Then I have to remind myself that they can give me their advice all they want, but God has the ultimate say so. He knows my heart and my desires and He knows what's best for me.

I'm not ashamed to admit that although I want to date, get married and have a family of my own one day, I'm choosy. I want to be in a healthy relationship/marriage one day. I won't settle for any random guy that comes my way. There are certain things about a guy that I will and will not accept. And I realize that's something that those people don't know about me. They've never bothered to ask or talked with me long enough to learn. Their loss. 

So if there are any other "super-singles" like me out there, my message to you is this: it's okay. It's okay to want to be in a healthy, happy long-term relationship or get married one day. It's okay to have some days where you crave some romantic companionship and others where you embrace being single. It's okay to have standards. It's normal to feel a little impatient at times. It's what makes us human. Don't let anyone shame you into thinking that if your single now then you're not supposed to desire otherwise.