Tuesday Night Thoughts

When I was a little girl, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to be a famous and published children's book author. Everyday I wrote stories and illustrated them myself. I even looked forward to entering the Reading Rainbow Young Writers and Illustrators Contest (Now called PBS Kids Writers Contest). I think I entered in something almost every year. Even after I passed the age limit, I still wished that I could enter. (I think I won some sort of placement or was runner up one year.) Every day there was a new story or a new picture that I wanted to go along with a story. Sometimes, I didn't even have a story to write so I let a picture of a scene or character speak for itself.

Here I am, twenty years later with the same hopes and dreams (with a few modifications). I still want to be a published author for young girls and teens, particularly the black girls. Famous? Um... not quite sure but, if that's what God has in store then so be it. Well-known? That's more like it.

With all of that being said, I have always seen writing and storytelling as a major part of my life. It's a kind of work that makes me feel...good, fulfilled. As if it's what I needed to have been doing all along. When I write (whether it's for this blog, a writing contest, a journal entry or part of a story), I feel like I'm doing what God wants me to do.

All of this has me thinking about how we as {imperfect} humans view work. We go to jobs we dread to make money to pay for things that we also dread or can only enjoy for a short amount of time, then we go to sleep and repeat daily until retirement or death. I can't help but, think that when it comes to work, we're getting it all wrong. Where's the sense of fulfillment? Where's the joy? Where's the sense of fulfilling a deeper purpose?

It's evident that in Genesis before The Fall, God intended for work to be good. There was no misery, no groaning, no complaining because they (man and woman) were working within their intended purpose. And that purpose was to enjoy what God provided for them and to take care of it.

Does that mean that if we work within our intended purpose we'll always be happy, smiling and our lives will be hunky-dory forever? No. Because of sin, we'll still have our bad times but, when we follow Jesus and do what God calls us to do, the good will always outshine the bad. Despite our various circumstances, God does NOT intend for us to live miserable lives. That's not his doing. He knows infinitely more than we do and loves us infinitely so.

Still, what is it going to take to change our view of what "work" should be like?

I feel...

Image Credit: smarnad via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hello all! I hope everyone's weekend is going well.

This post is something that I've been wanting to write for a while, but organizing my thoughts and words into coherent paragraphs proved to be a challenge. This post is about emotions. The one factor that makes our lives and stories unique. Some people are more open about their feelings and others are more reserved. As followers of Christ, we are warned about relying too much on our emotions. {Ephesians 4:26-27}, {Proverbs 29:11}, {Galatians 5:16-17}.

I don't know about anyone else, but for a while I used to read those verses and think that a true follower of Christ wasn't supposed to have negative emotions and should be reserved in any positive emotions. If something bad happened, "don't fret, don't cry, don't get mad, God has everything under control, just pray and move on with your life." If something really good happened, "good, but remember that there are bigger things out there." This was also amplified with how black women are portrayed in the media. Unmoved by intense situations, strong to the point where it seemed inhuman, and sometimes only caring about superficial things. So, I started to think that it was wrong of me to cry about something that bothered me, to feel outraged about an injustice, to feel lonely or even have a crush on a guy because my thoughts and focus weren't directed towards God.

So what did I do about this? I stopped relying primarily on the thoughts and opinions of other people and I made reading for myself what God says about the topic my first mode of action. Then I prayed and listened to people I trusted. No where in the Bible does it say that we are supposed to be void feelings or emotions. The problem is not the fact that we experience different reactions and emotions to different things, the danger comes when we let our emotions (negative emotions in particular) govern our actions without an effort to see things from a different perspective or without thinking on whether or not that action will bring glory to God. It's okay to feel angry, just don't let that anger dictate whether you or someone else gets hurt. It's okay to feel sad, just don't let it overcome you to the point where it holds you back from everything. It's okay to feel lonely at time, just don't let that feeling of loneliness label you. Our emotions make our experiences and stories well... our own.

God is not an emotionless God. The Bible states that we are made in his image {Genesis 1:26-27}. It also gives plenty of examples of God's emotions and why He felt that way. Genesis 6:6 shows about the grief God felt watching evil and wickedness among the human race unfold in the days after the fall of man and before the flood. Judges 2:18 shows that God showed compassion for the Israelites by taking care of them and staying by their side no matter who was in charge. Psalms 7:11 also shows that God feels anger. A righteous anger. Isaiah 62:5 talks about how God will rejoice over us when we commit ourselves to Him. In the garden of Eden before the Fall, we see that Adam's joy in finding a suitable mate causes him to exclaim, "At last!"{Genesis 2:23}. (Those of you out there in dating or marriage relationships can probably attest to that kind of joy and excitement.)

So, although I say this to everyone, my message is primarily directed towards Christian black women. It's okay to cry, to feel upset, to feel overwhelmed or to have days when you really desire companionship (if you're single). The über-strong, emotionless façade can stop. Don't be ashamed to admit how something truly makes you feel and don't let anyone tell you how you're supposed to feel. You are made in the image of the almighty, all-powerful, perfect Creator just like everyone else on earth. Just don't act rashly on the basis of your emotions or dwell on them to the point where it consumes you. Many times we do have to "let go and let God", but not without being real and honest about our feelings and emotions. Emotions come and go, but the results from our actions are permanent.

Dear Girl...

To all the girls/women out there who struggle with being "super-single", this letter is for you.

Dear Girl,

You consider yourself to be "super-single". Meaning the following has never happened to you: 

• had a boyfriend... like ever
• been on a date before or asked to any school dances or proms
• been kissed (obviously)
• known what it's like to find out that the guy you have a crush on feels the same way (in real-life, mind you)

You've heard the phrases, "Oh, you'll find someone.", "You just have to get out there.", "He'll be here before you know it.", etc. more times than you can count. And if you had a dollar for every time someone has said those phrases and others like it, you'd probably have good start for a savings account. (Perhaps you're cringing at the sight of those words strung together.)

You pray and wait, you wonder what's wrong with you. You hope, half-playfully, that he didn't get hit by a bus or something else tragic. You've asked yourself, "Where are all the other 'super-singles' like me??"

Me too.

I want to let you know that you are not alone. You are not a freak. You're not invisible. God hasn't forgotten about you. I promise.

My words of encouragement aren't the true (albeit, overused) phrases uttered by well-meaning peers and family. I don't have a magic phrase or body spray to use to change the outcome of things. I won't tell you that this journey will be easy or that you'll never have times you wish you were in a relationship. (I'm getting to the good part, I promise.)

My advice is one that even I have to go back remind myself sometimes. Give your worries, fears, stresses and frustrations to God. Doing this isn't like a vending machine where you put something in, tap a few buttons, and out comes what you want. God doesn't work that way. Giving your concerns to God ensures that you don't have to hold on to them yourself anymore. It takes the stress and baggage off of you and starts the process in trusting that God knows what He's doing. It strengthens your relationship with Him.

Continue to go on with your life and take advantage of the things you can learn and do while being single. (There are some, I promise.) Don't give up or lose hope. Stop comparing your chapter to what you see others proclaim on Facebook. Just scroll on. And when you're feeling exceptionally lonely, find or go to some trusted social support. Don't let the stress fester inside of you. If it takes a workout session or curling up in your sweats with your blanket, book (or Netflix) and your favorite stuffed animal... do it. And remind yourself that you are exactly where you need to be.

All my love,

Barb

Crazy Doesn't Even Begin to Describe this Week

Seriously... it doesn't. I can only pray that the suspect is caught and justice is served in the way that God sees fit. My thoughts and prayers go out to Boston, all the victims, law enforcement, and even those people who are still trying to heal from other tragedies like what happened in Newton, CT. I have no doubt in my mind that God will bring out something remarkable from these tragedies.

Does God cause all of these tragedies? No. It is NOT in God's plan to hurt us, for people to die, etc. Why things like this happen, we may never know. I do know that God is good, perfect, sovereign and loves us more than we can ever comprehend. He knows and understands how we feel better than anyone else can. He can turn something broken, something shattered, ashes, and wounds into something extraordinary. Just seek Him, trust that He will work in your life, and be patient. When you seek Him, so much good comes out of it.

Don't only seek Him when things are bad... seek Him when things are good or when you're in a waiting place. It won't always be easy and it's not a one-time thing. Seeking Him needs to be constant because it'll be worth it in the end.

So stay strong, stay hopeful and love others. (Including those you may not like or who are working your last little nerve!) Love you all! Better days are coming.

Approval

"Am I now trying to win human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10

Hi everyone! Long time no hear, I know. My fault! For the past couple weeks the subject of expectations and approval from people has been on my mind. There's so much going on in the news, talked about in articles and expressed in social media. People and groups are ripping each other to shreds because they're unhappy with the actions, beliefs or especially thoughts of the other group or person in question. And if it's not due to unhappiness it's because they want to appear above the person/group in some way, shape, or form. I don't know about anyone else, but when I think about all of this, it sounds EXHAUSTING!! Vegetarians/vegans versus meat-eaters, Christians versus non-Christians, white people versus black people, Liberals versus Conservatives, "for-Obama's" versus "against-Obamas", pro-lifers versus pro-choicers, heterosexuals versus homosexuals/bisexuals, pro-firearms versus anti-firearms... and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Isn't that sad?

Can we as humans get rid of hate, human disapproval and dislike? No. As long as we are on earth, it's always going to be around. We can try, but we are humans are imperfect. We are individuals who are born with free-will. So, no, that person is not going to think or act exactly like you think they should no matter how much you rant or threat. Whatever a person chooses to do/think is between them and God. What we can do is what God commands us and that's to LOVE each other. Regardless of lifestyle, thoughts or decisions. The best way to find out how to do that is to read the Bible for yourself. God shows us in His Word and tells us of His love constantly. It doesn't matter who we are, where we're from, what we think, what we did or what our actions are.

Trying to win the approval of everyone around you isn't going to lead you to the reward you think it will. Someone will always be disappointed or unhappy and you could (and just might) end up feeling drained, empty and/or stretched thin. I completely understand that we cannot completely overcome desires to win approval from everyone that surrounds us. Again, we aren't perfect. However, with God on our side and if we actively seek Him, He can and will show us how it's really done. So, I leave you with another verse that I think and pray on daily:

"May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14